On Probing the True Nature of a Friend - Ptahhotep

If You seek to probe the true nature of a friend, do not inquire (after him), but approach him (yourself). (Then) deal with him alone, until You are no longer uncertain about his condition. After a time, dispute with him. Test his heart in dialogue. If what he has seen (of himself) escapes him, if he does a thing that irritates You, be yet friendly with him or be silent, but do not turn away your face. Restrain yourself and open dialogue. Do not answer with an act of hostility. Neither counter him, nor humiliate him. His time does not fail to come ... (for) one does not escape what is fated.



From The Maxims of Good Discourse by Vizier Ptahhotep VIth Dynasty - late Old Kingdom - ca.2200 BCE